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March 20 2015

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Fallon delivered
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Entering the BIOS

by @just_hank_moody, andreibkn and necessaryaegis

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i like it when the little things make people happy <3
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"What do you play?"

"The Clarinet, you?"

"I play the fucking HAMMER

I like how the brass guy knew it was coming while the bass clarinet still gets caught off guard

I would like to thank tumblr for giving me a reason to google the phrase “What musical composition includes the FUCKING HAMMER.”

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February 22 2015

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February 15 2015


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February 14 2015

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"Evolution, what are those flatworms doing?"

"Oh, they’re getting ready to penis-fence."

"Penis… fence?"

"Yeah. They’re hermaphrodites, so either of them can inseminate the other one to reproduce, but neither one actually wants to be inseminated."

"They… don’t?"

"Well, no. It’s much easier to be the inseminator. I kind of set it up so that actually bearing the offspring totally sucks. Haha, whoops!”

"So… they’re going to…"

"Try to stab each other with their two-pronged penises while simultaneously avoiding getting stabbed themselves, yes."


"The good news is that there’s no real reproductive opening, so they can just pierce the skin wherever and get the sperm in."

"That’s the good news?"

"Well, I thought so. Ooh, they’re starting! Fatherhood to the victor!"

"It is way too early in the morning for this.”

Source: Wikimedia Commons / Photo courtesy of Nico Michiels / licensed under CC BY 2.5

BAY AREA! I’m reading tonight at Books Inc. Berkeley. Come say hello!

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February 13 2015

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this was my desktop background in 2004 it’s just a guy riding a long motorcycle with the motorcycle photoshopped out

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